OUR COUSIN

Retirees and seniors in their seventies have experienced a lifestyle that is quite different from what we see in today’s society. During our childhood, it was common for our parents to welcome relatives who arrived unannounced to stay with us for a few days. This was rooted in the belief of "Atithi Devo Bhava," a principle embraced by their generation. They in turn would often visit friends and neighbours in town without prior invitations, simply to chat and enjoy a cup of tea together in the evening. It was expected that those they visited would reciprocate the gesture soon after. Such exchanges of visits were a normal part of life, and guests were always greeted warmly. In those good old days, we used to keep our photo albums in the drawing room for visitors to browse through them, happily answering any questions they had about the pictures. Our albums were filled with many pictures including picnic photos, showcasing people in sunglasses, caps, scarves and winter jackets, often striking silly poses for the camera. While guests went through the photo albums, the lady of the house would discreetly head to the kitchen to prepare tea and snacks, like the much loved luci - bhaaji, sometimes adding an egg omelette for variety. Homemade treats were the norm, but bought out sweets like sandesh or rosogolla were also appreciated. After the tea was served, tamul paan would follow as a customary offering. It was important to ensure guests felt well taken care of, and conversations typically revolved around shared interests such as politics, current events, sports & games. We also engaged in some lively discussions on Assamese, Hindi, Bengali and English cinema. As students, we found it exciting to go for morning shows in cinema halls screening English movies most of the time. In those days cinema was the most popular form of entertainment and old classics like Ben-Hur, My Fair Lady, The Ten Commandments, Lawrence of Arabia, The Guns of Navarone, Sound of Music, Dr Zhivago etc. still resonate in our minds as also great Hindi movies like Mother India, Guide, Sangam, Mughal e Azam, Padosan, Pakeeza & Sahib Bibi Aur Gulam. Sporting events were another source of joy for many in those days and people were glued to their transistor sets to listen to live commentary of an international cricket or hockey match. ........................ During our school days, we had the pleasure of having one of our cousin sisters and an aunt staying at our home but at different times as they pursued their studies in our town. The cousin was there for her schooling, while our aunt was working towards her Bachelor's degree at Lady Keane College. Both of them became integral parts of our family, and that connection remains strong to this day. Our cousin excelled in her studies, consistently topping her class and earning accolades in sports. While we, her cousins, admired her accomplishments, we couldn't help but feel a twinge of jealousy since we struggled to keep up with her impressive achievements. Still, when it was time for her to leave for college, we felt her absence deeply. It became clear how much she represented kindness and good cheer. She embraced the wisdom of her elders and was always a warm and welcoming host, generously sharing her time and resources with others. Now in her mid-sixties, she remains elegant and graceful, despite facing some significant challenges in life. After a long career as a Professor of Physics at a respected educational institution, she has embraced a simpler life focused on prayer, meditation, and community service. True to her nature as a gracious host, she continues to delight her guests with homemade treats and tamul paan, ensuring her home is always filled with visitors who find it hard to resist her hospitality. An unexplainable sense of comfort envelops everyone who steps into her home. Initially, they may not realize that their joy stems from being there, but it soon becomes clear that it’s all about the warmth of our cousin’s presence. Even without offering anything particularly profound, she provides weary souls with a sense of solace. She always maintained her calm and gracious demeanour, never attempting to preach or position herself as a guru in any way. It was the growing number of visitors who believed that she and her home exuded a unique sense of peace and tranquillity. As more and more people came to see her every day, she found it increasingly challenging to manage the flow, struggling daily with her frail health to accommodate her guests. Thankfully, a few caring neighbours stepped in to assist her, establishing a schedule for visitors to come at designated times. Meanwhile, the visitors too began to recognize the strain their presence was causing her. They slowly became more considerate in their approach to meet her and enjoy her company for some time. It seemed that our beloved cousin had unwittingly become a saint in the eyes of many, despite her strong insistence that she possessed no such qualities. She remained firm in her belief that she did not deserve any form of adulation, particularly from the very people she loved to serve.